Posts Tagged: shame

Masturbation, desire, want … good or bad?

Here is an exchange between a reader and I on the issue of masturbation … one of the MOST contentious topics in the intersection of sexual health and religion. Reader: “I agree that education about sexuality is important, that we need to teach younger generations about the implications of love and sexuality and as Christians,… Read more »

Growing Up with Sex – How comfortable was your family?

I remember a day many years ago when my daughter and god-daughter were playing in her room just off the kitchen. The girls were about 4 at the time.  My friend and I were in the kitchen making dinner and sharing a glass of wine when one of us looked sheepishly at the other …… Read more »

A Failure to Thrive … marriage in the 21st century

Waiting for my flight I check my email, “Tina, Duane and Ineed to come in to see you ASAP.  I foundout he has been communicating with another woman and has had drinks with her acouple of times.  I suspect more …” This was the second identical story in one week.  Same profile – wonderful professionalmiddle-class… Read more »

Embracing Our Sexuality

I was recently interviewed by Jennifer Bostrom for the blog spuchablog.wordpress.com – a blog for Campus Housing at Seattle Pacific University. The interview centered around how to cultivate a healthy sexuality integrating sexual beliefs/expression with a Christian faith. Here is the interview: Embracing our Sexuality: A Conversation with Dr. Tina Sellers It is CHA’s pleasure… Read more »

How the Teachings of Sexual Purity Leads to Violence

“Tina, I don’t know what to do. I’m supposed to be in the honeymoon phase of my marriage … and we are both sexually miserable.” Tears began to flow down her cheeks. Before me was a beautiful 27 year old woman who’d been married less than 6 months. She and her now husband dated four… Read more »

America’s Sexual Ethic

Silence … just because it cannot be heard, does it have no effect? And ignorance … no responsibility? What is the guiding sexual ethic in our country? Do we have one? If we don’t, does that mean there is not one? Or does that mean that our silence and avoidance is teaching its own kind… Read more »

Children learn what they LIVE

When I was a little girl we had a cloth wall hanging in our family room that I remember noticing every day. As I got older and could read, I would read it. Then as I grew to understand more, I would read it and think about what it meant and how it related to… Read more »

What Children Have to Teach Us about Pure Sensual Joy

  There is something so refreshing and soul nourishing in the innocent observations of children. Before they are infected by societal messages of what or who is appropriate and inappropriate, valued and unvalued and all the judgments regarding what they ‘should’ think and feel. Before all this, they respond in the truth … their truth… Read more »