Posts Tagged: pleasure

Who is Having the Best Sex? What Research (not the media) Says

We see this question on magazine covers lining grocery counters every day. I read studies looking at the numbers all the time. Many of the studies focus on frequency of intercourse. But how good is that frequency? As a sex therapist, I hear far too many stories of bad-normal-bad-sex. The kind of normal-bad-sex that is “another… Read more »

What I Wish Everyone At 20 (& 30…) Understood About Marriage

The goal of our life is…to bring more love and truth into the world. We marry to assist each other in this process. Leo Tolstoy A dear friend of mine said on the eve of his oldest daughter’s thirteenth birthday, “Today is my last day to be an expert on adolescents!”  I giggled when I… Read more »

5 Secrets Every Sex Therapist Wants You to Know …

The other day one of my clients came in and said, “All these years, I’ve had it all wrong! I had no idea sex could be this good – this much fun!”  I thought to myself, “I seriously have the best job in the world!! I get paid to help people be better lovers …… Read more »

Do You Have Marriage Insurance?

Nearly every month one of the therapists I supervise will staff a case with me of a couple who is separating or divorcing because they didn’t know how to take care of their relationship and they didn’t do anything about it when it started to fade away. By the time someone spoke up … that… Read more »

The Erotic is NOT the Pornographic!

The subject said: The Erotic as Power The email read: “You will love this.” My dear friend Jim, who knows my passion and commitment for people to discover what culture has failed to teach them about their capacity for intimacy and their erotic potential, sent to me a reading by Activist and Poet, Audre Lorde… Read more »

Why Go To An Intimacy Retreat? A Man’s Perspective

A man’s viewpoint on deep and abiding love can be a rare find … and I believe, when found … a valuable opinion.  It is not rare, because it is an uncommon occurrence, but rather men’s words are not patiently sought. We so often in culture describe men as only wanting sex and women as only wanting love… Read more »