Posts Tagged: pleasure

The 3 Ways Removing Sexuality from Spirituality has Made us Bad Lovers

  The other day I was being interviewed for an upcoming podcast and was asked the number one issue I see in my practice.  I said it was couples complaining of having bad sex – not enough … quantity, pleasure, variety, intimacy … you name it. I made the point that our culture raises heterosexuals… Read more »

The DNA of a Couple vs the DNA of a Couple’s Therapist

When couples think of the skills needed to keep their love vibrant, they often think of having good communication, high emotional, social and sexual intelligence, good conflict resolution and negotiation skills, and a strong alignment of values and interests.  If we did not grow up in a family emulating these qualities for us, we often have… Read more »

Getting it On vs. Getting it Over With. Does It Matter Why You Do It?

Shari sits in my office and tells me a story I have heard countless times.  She and David have two small children, five and three. Shari is what we call “the low desire partner” in their marriage.  Although, I am not sure that is a fair or accurate label.  Both sit on the couch stiff… Read more »

Do You Still Kiss Each Other? Does it Matter?

  The Hebrew people believe a kiss is two people sharing the breath of God. As many know the beloved and I run couples intimacy retreats and thus are constantly asking questions about what differentiates happy couples from unhappy ones.  Lately we have been reading the results of a large international study analyzing the surprising… Read more »

5 Ways You May be Slowly Destroying Your Husband and Your Marriage

These days, while I still have a clinical practice, I do even more clinical supervision (helping other clinicians to be better couples, sex and spiritual intimacy therapists).  The other day I was staffing a case with one of my supervisees that was all too familiar.  It was of a couple married 23 years with two… Read more »

In Pursuit of a Sex Positive Gospel …. Restoring Faith in an Erotic God

  As a sex therapist, I commonly see couples who have experienced various forms of sexual dysfunction due to their extensive sex negative cultural and religious upbringing. After observing this pattern, I sought to find the sex positive message I believed to be hidden in the dusty vault of Judeo/Christian collective history. Teaching at a… Read more »