Posts Tagged: mindfulness

The 3 Ways Removing Sexuality from Spirituality has Made us Bad Lovers

  The other day I was being interviewed for an upcoming podcast and was asked the number one issue I see in my practice.  I said it was couples complaining of having bad sex – not enough … quantity, pleasure, variety, intimacy … you name it. I made the point that our culture raises heterosexuals… Read more »

The DNA of a Couple vs the DNA of a Couple’s Therapist

When couples think of the skills needed to keep their love vibrant, they often think of having good communication, high emotional, social and sexual intelligence, good conflict resolution and negotiation skills, and a strong alignment of values and interests.  If we did not grow up in a family emulating these qualities for us, we often have… Read more »

Getting it On vs. Getting it Over With. Does It Matter Why You Do It?

Shari sits in my office and tells me a story I have heard countless times.  She and David have two small children, five and three. Shari is what we call “the low desire partner” in their marriage.  Although, I am not sure that is a fair or accurate label.  Both sit on the couch stiff… Read more »

Do You Still Kiss Each Other? Does it Matter?

  The Hebrew people believe a kiss is two people sharing the breath of God. As many know the beloved and I run couples intimacy retreats and thus are constantly asking questions about what differentiates happy couples from unhappy ones.  Lately we have been reading the results of a large international study analyzing the surprising… Read more »

How We Feel Doesn’t Matter

I was reading a piece by Shauna Nyquist this morning titled “How we feel about our friends doesn’t matter” … if we don’t do anything to let them know. She makes the point that what makes a good partner or good friend is the one who routinely demonstrates their care and appreciation in word and… Read more »

Work Life Balance is a Myth!

One recent morning I sat at my desk. It was barely nine o’clock and I was already exhausted. The morning light was streaming in from my office window – it was that low warm almost winter light.  I closed my eyes.  “I will read”, I thought – “Not email – but something to settle me,… Read more »

How Sleeping Naked Can Save Your Marriage … And Why Talking Comes Last

  A while ago the beloved and I got in a doozy of an argument.  Now, our arguments are not like four-alarm fires that cause everyone to run for the hills.  That type belonged in my childhood and first marriage.  Our conflicts are a bit more like an oceanic earthquake whose eruption is tempered by… Read more »