Posts Tagged: joy

Desire … is it of God?

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Ps 37:4 Song of Songs 1:2-4 Let him kiss me with kisses of his mouth For better is your love than wine, Your anointing oils are fragrant, Your name is better than perfume poured out. Therefore women love you!… Read more »

30 Day Challenge – Save Your Marriage from the Tyranny of the Urgent

The other day, I was talking to a young colleague of mine – freshly minted with a marriage and a thriving clinical practice.  Life was busy and good … and all laid out.  A new house and kids were next on the agenda. “Yep, and then” I thought, “life gets nutso!!” Listening to her was… Read more »

5 Ways You May be Slowly Destroying Your Husband and Your Marriage

These days, while I still have a clinical practice, I do even more clinical supervision (helping other clinicians to be better couples, sex and spiritual intimacy therapists).  The other day I was staffing a case with one of my supervisees that was all too familiar.  It was of a couple married 23 years with two… Read more »

How the Purity Movement Causes Symptoms of Sexual Abuse

I put the paper down.  I was 15 papers in with 17 to go – sexual autobiography assignments of my graduate family therapy students. It was the second paper I had read in the last two hours of a young woman who had pelvic pain and vaginismus.  My stomach was in knots.  How many of these… Read more »

Who is Having the Best Sex? What Research (not the media) Says

We see this question on magazine covers lining grocery counters every day. I read studies looking at the numbers all the time. Many of the studies focus on frequency of intercourse. But how good is that frequency? As a sex therapist, I hear far too many stories of bad-normal-bad-sex. The kind of normal-bad-sex that is “another… Read more »

5 Secrets Every Sex Therapist Wants You to Know …

The other day one of my clients came in and said, “All these years, I’ve had it all wrong! I had no idea sex could be this good – this much fun!”  I thought to myself, “I seriously have the best job in the world!! I get paid to help people be better lovers …… Read more »

The Erotic is NOT the Pornographic!

The subject said: The Erotic as Power The email read: “You will love this.” My dear friend Jim, who knows my passion and commitment for people to discover what culture has failed to teach them about their capacity for intimacy and their erotic potential, sent to me a reading by Activist and Poet, Audre Lorde… Read more »

Why Go To An Intimacy Retreat? A Man’s Perspective

A man’s viewpoint on deep and abiding love can be a rare find … and I believe, when found … a valuable opinion.  It is not rare, because it is an uncommon occurrence, but rather men’s words are not patiently sought. We so often in culture describe men as only wanting sex and women as only wanting love… Read more »