Posts Tagged: complexity

Work Life Balance is a Myth!

One recent morning I sat at my desk. It was barely nine o’clock and I was already exhausted. The morning light was streaming in from my office window – it was that low warm almost winter light.  I closed my eyes.  “I will read”, I thought – “Not email – but something to settle me,… Read more »

How the Purity Movement Causes Symptoms of Sexual Abuse

I put the paper down.  I was 15 papers in with 17 to go – sexual autobiography assignments of my graduate family therapy students. It was the second paper I had read in the last two hours of a young woman who had pelvic pain and vaginismus.  My stomach was in knots.  How many of these… Read more »

Who is Having the Best Sex? What Research (not the media) Says

We see this question on magazine covers lining grocery counters every day. I read studies looking at the numbers all the time. Many of the studies focus on frequency of intercourse. But how good is that frequency? As a sex therapist, I hear far too many stories of bad-normal-bad-sex. The kind of normal-bad-sex that is “another… Read more »

Do You Tell Your Kids the Truth? (about sex)

I grew up in a household where both my parents did anger in big and expressive ways.  As luck would have it, I was an introverted, happy-go-lucky, but sensitive kid.  This combo meant I learned very quickly to watch and read the emotional climate of my parents – and if the boilers were high, stay… Read more »

What I Wish Everyone At 20 (& 30…) Understood About Marriage

The goal of our life is…to bring more love and truth into the world. We marry to assist each other in this process. Leo Tolstoy A dear friend of mine said on the eve of his oldest daughter’s thirteenth birthday, “Today is my last day to be an expert on adolescents!”  I giggled when I… Read more »

The Erotic is NOT the Pornographic!

The subject said: The Erotic as Power The email read: “You will love this.” My dear friend Jim, who knows my passion and commitment for people to discover what culture has failed to teach them about their capacity for intimacy and their erotic potential, sent to me a reading by Activist and Poet, Audre Lorde… Read more »