How will you live into your GENIUS in 2016?

GENIUS is something we all have.  What is yours?  How do you live into it? My dearest friend had this remarkable gift of inspiring people to see their genius and then somehow igniting in them the passion to live fully and completely into it. I have met countless people who have told me stories of how… Read more »


How We Feel Doesn’t Matter

I was reading a piece by Shauna Nyquist this morning titled “How we feel about our friends doesn’t matter” … if we don’t do anything to let them know. She makes the point that what makes a good partner or good friend is the one who routinely demonstrates their care and appreciation in word and… Read more »


Work Life Balance is a Myth!

One recent morning I sat at my desk. It was barely nine o’clock and I was already exhausted. The morning light was streaming in from my office window – it was that low warm almost winter light.  I closed my eyes.  “I will read”, I thought – “Not email – but something to settle me,… Read more »


How Sleeping Naked Can Save Your Marriage … And Why Talking Comes Last

  A while ago the beloved and I got in a doozy of an argument.  Now, our arguments are not like four-alarm fires that cause everyone to run for the hills.  That type belonged in my childhood and first marriage.  Our conflicts are a bit more like an oceanic earthquake whose eruption is tempered by… Read more »


5 Ways You May be Slowly Destroying Your Husband and Your Marriage

These days, while I still have a clinical practice, I do even more clinical supervision (helping other clinicians to be better couples, sex and spiritual intimacy therapists).  The other day I was staffing a case with one of my supervisees that was all too familiar.  It was of a couple married 23 years with two… Read more »


In Pursuit of a Sex Positive Gospel …. Restoring Faith in an Erotic God

  As a sex therapist, I commonly see couples who have experienced various forms of sexual dysfunction due to their extensive sex negative cultural and religious upbringing. After observing this pattern, I sought to find the sex positive message I believed to be hidden in the dusty vault of Judeo/Christian collective history. Teaching at a… Read more »



How the Purity Movement Causes Symptoms of Sexual Abuse

I put the paper down.  I was 15 papers in with 17 to go – sexual autobiography assignments of my graduate family therapy students. It was the second paper I had read in the last two hours of a young woman who had pelvic pain and vaginismus.  My stomach was in knots.  How many of these… Read more »